No, I’m not live at the Oscars, but I am writing this while I sit at home and watch the Oscars on TV, so it’s the next best thing!
Okay, here we go. Here’s my coverage of the 86th Academy Awards hosted by Ellen DeGeneres on March 2, 2014. So, if you missed it and would like to know how it all went down, or if you watched it and perhaps missed something, well, read on!
Let’s get started.
Okay, Ellen’s opening monologue, not bad. She was entertaining and funny, as always. However, as opening monologues go, it was low key and wasn’t anything memorable.
She did inform us that the theme of tonight’s Awards ceremony is heroes. Hmm. I wonder if Marvel’s The Avengers will show up?
Let’s get right to the Awards. Anne Hathaway presents the Nominees for Best Actor in a Supporting Role, and the winner is: Jared Leto, DALLAS BUYERS CLUB. Leto just gave a terrific speech, one of the best Oscar speeches I’ve ever heard. Seriously! Very impressed.
Next up, Jim Carrey calls out Bruce Dern in the audience, since Dern’s up for an Oscar, and Carrey does a nice Bruce Dern impersonation, sufficiently intense and scary, bringing back memories of Dern’s early years. Carrey next introduces a montage on animated movies showcasing animated heroes. Nothing amazing. Most of the film clips are from recent animated films.
The song “Happy” from DESPICABLE ME 2 is performed.
Catherine Martin wins for Best Costume Design for THE GREAT GATSBY. This comes as no surprise, as GATSBY showcased some great costumes. Martin is the wife of director Baz Luhrmann. Who knew?
Make-up & Hair Styling- DALLAS BUYERS CLUB wins for Best Make-up & Hair Styling.
I hear Indiana Jones music. Hey, look! Here comes Harrison Ford. Ford is on stage to introduce the first three nominees for Best Picture: AMERICAN HUSTLE, DALLAS BUYERS CLUB and THE WOLF OF WALL STREET.
Wow, Ford looks exhausted. He can barely read the cue cards. It looks like he started partying early.
Channing Tatum introduces Awards that were awarded earlier.
Next up, it’s Matthew McConaughey and— Kim Novak? Wow. I haven’t seen Novak in a while. Not since VERTIGO (1958). Just kidding, of course, but really, it’s been a while. McConaughey and Novak are presenting the Animation Awards. Hate to say it, but Novak looks like she was animated in a Pixar movie. Way too much plastic surgery. Very sad. That’s how it looks, anyway.
Best Animated Short Film goes to MR. HUBLOT, and Best Animated Feature Film goes to Disney’s FROZEN, no doubt sending children who are still awake into an enthusiastic frenzy. From what I hear, the kiddos are nuts about this movie.
Hey look! There’s Bill Murray in the audience. Good to see him.
Sally Field’s on stage paying tribute to everyday heroes. Here comes a film montage. Seriously, it’s a nice montage, featuring a lot of good movies, including 42 and THE UNTOUCHABLES.
Emma Watson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are on stage to present the Award for Best Visual Effects, and the Winner is: GRAVITY. I definitely agree with this choice. GRAVITY had phenomenal special effects. It looked like it was shot on location- in space.
Time for a performance of “The Moon Song” from HER, one of the nominees for Best Original Song.
Okay, it’s 9:30. We’re 60 minutes into the program, and so far, it’s been a rather plain uneventful show.
Kate Hudson and Jason Sudekis present the nominees for Best Live Action Short Film, and the winner is: HELIUM.
THE LADY IN NUMBER 6: MUSIC SAVED MY LIFE wins Best Documentary Short.
Bradley Cooper presents the nominees for BEST DOCUMENTARY. The winner is 20 FEET FROM STARDOM.
I’m yawning at this point and regretting my choice not to watch THE WALKING DEAD tonight.
Speaking of amazing TV shows, Kevin Spacey is in character as he makes some references to his Netflix TV show HOUSE OF CARDS before he presents the Governor’s Awards, which were already presented earlier. Angela Lansbury, at 88 years old and returning to London Stage won one of the awards, Steve Martin won another, and Piero Tosi won for his costume designs. The Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award went to Angelina Jolie.
Best Foreign Language Film goes to Italy’s THE GREAT BEAUTY.
Tyler Perry introduces the next three Best Picture nominees, NEBRASKA, HER, and GRAVITY.
Brad Pitt introduces U2, as they’re on stage to perform “Ordinary Love” from MANDELA: LONG WALK TO FREEDOM. Wow. A really riveting performance. They got the crowd up on their feet and received a nice standing ovation.
Ellen – oh yeah! I almost forgot she was hosting this thing— goofs around and takes a star-studded group photo for Twitter. She wants to record the highest viewed tweet ever. A pretty funny and playful bit.
Next up, it’s the Scientific and Technical awards. Quick! Time for a bathroom break!
Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron, looking absolutely gorgeous in an amazing dress, present the nominees for Best Sound Mixing, and the winner is: GRAVITY. Another well-deserved win for GRAVITY. The film had crisp sharp sound, and it also boasted an effective lack of sound, as it truly captured the silence in space.
Best Sound Editing goes to: GRAVITY. Hmm. GRAVITY is starting to accumulate the awards.
Christoph Waltz presents the nominees for Best Actress in a Supporting Role, and the winner is: Lupita Nyong’o for 12 YEARS A SLAVE. Nice win for Nyong’o, and a nice speech as well.
Ellen’s goofing around again, as she asks her audience if they’re hungry, and when they say yes, she says she’s going to order pizza. She then adds that “I don’t have any money.” A funny gag.
Time to return to seriousness, as Cheryl Boone Isaacs, the first African American president of Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, steps onto the stage for a serious speech about seriousness. Seriously, the obligatory speech by the Academy president is no laughing matter.
Back to the awards. GRAVITY wins Best Cinematography. GRAVITY wins Best Film Editing. GRAVITY continues to win big tonight.
Whoopi Goldberg takes the stage, and she’s there to honor THE WIZARD OF OZ, as back in 1939 Judy Garland won an Honorary Juvenile Oscar, and to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the award, we get to see a nice montage honoring THE WIZARD OF OZ as well as recognizing her three children, who are in the audience, including Liza Minelli.
Time for a commercial break. Hey, there’s a really cool Godzilla – Snickers commercial. It’s actually quite humorous, and even better, it includes quick plug for new GODZILLA movie coming out in May.
We return to the Awards to find Ellen DeGeneres dressed as Glenda the Good Witch from THE WIZARD OF OZ, which gets a good laugh from the audience.
Jennifer Gardner and Benedict Cumberbatch present the award for Best Production Design, and the winner is: THE GREAT GATSBY. Wow, GRAVITY didn’t win an award. Glad GATSBY won, as it’s an incredibly visual movie.
Chris Evans – Captain America himself – introduces a montage of movie heroes. A fun montage, full of popular movie heroes, including John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones, Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator (remember when he was a villain?), Sylvester Stallone as Rocky, to name a few, and plenty of superheroes, including Iron Man, Captain America, and the rest of the Avengers, and Superman from MAN OF STEEL, although I was disappointed that there were no clips of Christopher Reeve as Superman.
James Bond made it in twice, with the famous “I expect you to die!” scene from GOLDFINGER, featuring Sean Connery as Bond, and also a clip of the current James Bond, Daniel Craig.
A couple of horror movie heroes made it into the sequence, Roy Scheider from JAWS and Sigourney Weaver from ALIEN.
Glenn Close introduces the famous “In memoriam” montage, where the Academy remembers the artists who passed away in 2014. Here is a partial list: Karen Black, James Gandolfini, Paul Walker, Annette Funicello, Peter O’Toole, Ray Harryhausen—very glad Harryhausen was included here-, Sid Caesar, Roger Ebert, Shirley Temple, Joan Fontaine, Harold Ramis, Richard Matheson, and Philip Seymour Hoffman.
The montage concludes with Bette Midler coming on stage and singing “Wind Beneath my Wings.” As you would expect, Midler received a standing ovation.
It’s now 11:00, which means the show has reached the 2 ½ hour mark, and so far there have been only a few major awards given out. Let’s get this show moving already!
Ellen announces “We just crashed Twitter with our group photo!” She’s overjoyed.
Goldie Hawn introduces the final three Best Picture nominees: PHILOMENA, CAPTAIN PHILLIPS, and 12 YEARS A SLAVE. Hawn looks almost as bad as Kim Novak, and by bad, I mean that she’s obviously had too much work done on her face. I wish these actresses would just allow themselves to age naturally. They would look so much better. She looks like a victim in a mad scientist movie. Very sad.
John Travolta – who’s actually looking pretty good here – introduces the song “Let it Go” from FROZEN.
Jamie Fox and Jessica Biel present the award for Best Original Score, and the winner is: — what a surprise!—GRAVITY, music composed by Steven Price.
For Best Original Song, the winner is “Let it Go” from FROZEN.
Now it’s time for the homestretch, as it’s just the major awards left, which is good, because it’s 11:20 and I’m getting sleepy, and I have to get up at 5:30 tomorrow for work.
Ellen is now running through the audience to collect money for the pizza, which she has already handed out, and so we’ve seen celebrities like Harrison Ford eating take-out pizza at the Oscars. Ellen gets money from Kevin Spacey and Brad Pitt, who she hits up for extra since he’s there for more than one movie.
Robert De Niro and Penelope Cruz present the award for Best Adapted Screenplay, and the winner is: 12 YEARS A SLAVE. Could this be the beginning of Big Awards Sweep for 12 YEARS?
And for Best Original Screenplay, the winner is: HER, screenplay by Spike Jonze.
It has not been a good night for AMERICAN HUSTLE. Just sayin.
Angelina Jolie & Sidney Poitier come out to announce the award for Best Director. Jolie thanks Poitier for his groundbreaking work over the years, and says to him: “We’re in your debt.” And Poitier tells the audience, “Please keep up the wonderful work.” Poitier looks old and frail, but at least he looks old and natural.
The winner for Best Director goes to Alfonso Cuaron for GRAVITY. Wow. This one surprised me. I thought Steve McQueen would win for 12 YEARS A SLAVE. This has turned out to be a really big night for GRAVITY.
Daniel Day Lewis presents the Best Actress Award, and the winner is: Cate Blanchett for BLUE JASMINE – I didn’t see BLUE JASMINE, but I like Blanchett a lot, so I’m glad she won. And even though both Sandra Bullock and Amy Adams were very good in their roles, I’ve seen them better in other movies.
Blanchett gives an energetic speech, making a nice plug for movies with women in the lead roles, and for movies about women, saying they are not just niches, that audiences really want to see these kinds of movies and more importantly that they make money.
Jennifer Lawrence, looking great tonight, presents the Best Actor award, and the winner is: Matthew McConaughey for the DALLAS BUYERS CLUB. This comes as no surprise. Glad he won.
Will Smith presents the Award for Best Picture. Nothing against Smith, but he’s the best you can get to present Best Picture? How about Steven Spielberg? Clint Eastwood? Morgan Freeman? Some other elder statesman or giant of the genre? Anyway, the winner is: 12 YEARS A SLAVE. Nice choice.
Well, as the show ends, it’s midnight- and with that, I can now go to bed. A big night for GRAVITY as it wins 7 Awards, and AMERICAN HUSTLE ends up getting shut out.
Well, that’s all she wrote. Good night everybody!
Thanks for reading!