Memorable Movie Quotes: ANNIE HALL (1977)

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annie hall

Diane Keaton and Woody Allen in ANNIE HALL (1977).

One of my favorite Woody Allen films is ANNIE HALL (1977), which just might be the quintessential Woody Allen movie.

I didn’t always feel this way.  I remember feeling quite bitter as a 13 year-old when ANNIE HALL bested my beloved STAR WARS (1977) for Best Picture that year.  Grrrr!!!

But it didn’t take me long to come around, as by the time I was in college I had watched ANNIE HALL multiple times and absolutely loved it. The jokes are nonstop and nearly all of them work, making ANNIE HALL the perfect subject for today’s MEMORABLE MOVIE QUOTES column, the column where we look at noteworthy quotes from some truly memorable movies.

ANNIE HALL works so well because Allen nails many of the truths that go along with relationships, and he finds humor in even their darkest moments. There’s an honesty in ANNIE HALL that lifts the humor to a whole other level.  There are enough memorable quotes in ANNIE HALL for several columns.  Today we’ll look at just a few of them.

The film opens with a memorable quote, as Woody Allen’s character Alvy Singer addresses the camera:

ALVY SINGER: There’s an old joke – um… two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of ’em says, “Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.” The other one says, “Yeah, I know; and such small portions.” Well, that’s essentially how I feel about life – full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it’s all over much too quickly. The… the other important joke, for me, is one that’s usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud’s “Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious,” and it goes like this – I’m paraphrasing – um, “I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.” That’s the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.

 

There are a ton of hilarious quips regarding the relationship between Allen’s Alvy Singer and Diane Keaton’s Annie Hall, like this split-screen exchange when they’re each seeing their respective therapists:

ALVY SINGER’S THERAPIST: How often do you sleep together?

ANNIE HALL’S THERAPIST: Do you have sex often?

ALVY SINGER (complaining): Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.

ANNIE HALL (annoyed): Constantly. I’d say three times a week.

 

And this conversation:

ALVY SINGER: Hey listen, gimme a kiss.

ANNIE HALL: Really?

ALVY SINGER: Yeah, why not, because we’re just gonna go home later, right, and then there’s gonna be all that tension, we’ve never kissed before and I’ll never know when to make the right move or anything. So we’ll kiss now and get it over with, and then we’ll go eat. We’ll digest our food better.

 

And here’s one of my favorite jokes in the film, where Alvy confronts Annie about having an affair:

ALVY SINGER: Well, I didn’t start out spying. I thought I’d surprise you. Pick you up after school.

ANNIE HALL: Yeah, but you wanted to keep the relationship flexible. Remember, it’s your phrase.

ALVY SINGER: Oh stop it, you’re having an affair with your college professor, that jerk that teaches that incredible crap course, Contemporary Crisis in Western Man…

ANNIE HALL:  Existential Motifs in Russian Literature. You’re really close.

ALVY SINGER; What’s the difference? It’s all mental masturbation.

ANNIE HALL: Oh, well, now we’re finally getting to a subject you know something about.

ALVY SINGER: Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.

 

Then there’s this observation on relationships:

ALVY SINGER: A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.

 

And of course there are jokes that have nothing to do with relationships that are flat-out hilarious in ANNIE HALL, like this comment by Alvy on California when he and Annie are visiting The Golden State:

ANNIE HALL:  It’s so clean out here.

ALVY SINGER: That’s because they don’t throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.

 

Another of my favorite bits involves a scene with Christopher Walker as Duane.

DUANE:  Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist, I think you’ll understand. Sometimes when I’m driving… on the road at night… I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The… flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.

ALVY SINGER: Right. Well, I have to – I have to go now, Duane, because I, I’m due back on the planet Earth.

 

And like it begins, ANNIE HALL ends with another memorable set of lines, once more spoken by Woody Allen’s Alvy Singer, to close out the film:

ALVY SINGER: After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I… I realized what a terrific person she was, and… and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I… I, I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this… this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And, uh, the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y’know, they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and… but, uh, I guess we keep goin’ through it because, uh, most of us… need the eggs.

 

As I said earlier, there are so many more memorable quotes and jokes in ANNIE HALL, there’s enough to fill an entire second and third column. But that’s it for today.  I hope you enjoyed today’s MEMORABLE MOVIE QUOTES column and join me again next time when I look at cool quotes from another classic movie.

Thanks for reading!

—Michael

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THE JUNGLE BOOK (2016) Remake Is A Rousing Adventure

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the-jungle-book-2016-poster

Look for the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities, forget about your worries and your strife—.

Eh hem.  Excuse me.  I got carried away.

“The Bare Necessities” is one of my favorite songs from the 1967 animated Disney THE JUNGLE BOOK— one of my favorite movies of all time— and I’m happy to say it makes it into the 2016 remake by director Jon Favreau.

Because I’m a huge fan of the 1967 film, I was certainly looking forward to this new version of THE JUNGLE BOOK.  At the same time, I was wary that it wouldn’t be able to live up to the classic animated film.  While I probably still prefer the 1967 movie— it’s been a favorite for so long— this new remake comes pretty darn close to satisfying on all levels. In short, it’s a pretty darn good movie.

Now, there’s also a 1994 live action version of THE JUNGLE BOOK, also produced by Disney, that I have not seen, a version that was not well received upon its initial release, although there are some folks who swear by it.  Not to mention the 1942 version starring Sabu.  But for me, the 1967 animated film has always been the most endearing.  Now comes the 2016 THE JUNGLE BOOK. All of these films are based on the collection of stories by Rudyard Kipling.

THE JUNGLE BOOK (2016) opens with an homage to the 1967 film, using the same music and the very same opening shot.  But this is no shot-by-shot remake, as there are plenty of differences between the two films.

THE JUNGLE BOOK is the story of Mowgli (Neel Sethi) a young boy who had been abandoned in the jungle only to be rescued by the panther Bagheera (Ben Kingsley) who turned him over to a wolf pack, where he was raised as a wolf.  Mowgli enjoyed a happy life with the pack, with his adopted parents Akela (Giancarlo Esposito) and Raksha (Lupita Nyon’go), and wolf cub brothers and sisters.

All is well until the tiger Shere Khan (Idris Elba) who hates and fears humans decides that Mowgli must die.  The pack realizes that even with their combined strength, they are no match for Shere Khan, and so they arrange for Bagheera to bring Mowgli back to the man-village, to live safely with his own kind.

But Shere Khan is wise to their plan and attempts to kill Mowgli while he is still with Bagheera, who fights off the tiger while telling Mowgli to run, which the youth does.  On his own in the jungle, things look bleak for Mowgli until he is rescued by the laid-back Baloo the Bear (Bill Murray).

But the danger is far from over.  Threats lurk behind every tree, as Mowgli and his friends must contend with Kaa the snake (Scarlett Johansson), King Louie (Christopher Walken) and his army of apes, and of course Shere Khan.

There is a lot to like about this new version of THE JUNGLE BOOK.  Probably my favorite part is the serious tone this movie takes. While director Jon Favreau keeps this one family friendly, it is not overly silly or nonstop funny as a lot of the “family” animated films are these days.  While there are certainly humorous moments in the film, for the most part, this JUNGLE BOOK is a serious adventure.  It even contains some rather dark moments.

When Bagheera tangles with Shere Khan to protect Mowgli it’s an exciting and rather vicious sequence.  For those of us who grew up with the 1967 version and wondered what it would be like if Bagheera actually fought Shere Khan, this film provides the answer.

bagheera vs. shere khan

To protect Mowgli, Bagheera the Panther prepares to tangle with Shere Khan the Tiger.

The flashback sequence where we learn what happened to Mowgli’s real father is intense and disturbing.  Likewise, the fate of Mowgli’s wolf father Akela is just as jarring.

Christopher Walken’s King Louie is larger than life and powerfully aggressive.  There’s more King Kong in this interpretation than Louie.  Similarly, Scarlett Johansson’s Kaa the Snake is mesmerizing and frightening.

king louie 2016

Christopher Walken’s King Louie.

The cast is fantastic.  Young Neel Sethi is perfect as Mowgli, and all the voice actors here do a terrific job.

Ben Kingsley makes for a majestic Bagheera, matching Sebastian Cabot’s effort in the original.  Even better is Idris Elba as Shere Khan.  He turns the tiger into an absolute villain in this one, making Shere Khan lethal and scary.  George Sanders voiced the tiger in the 1967 film, and he gave the character an elegant gentlemanly villainy.  Anything remotely sophisticated is gone here.  Elba’s Shere Khan is less a proper Bond villain and more like someone you’d meet on THE WALKING DEAD.  He’s not a nice guy.

shere khan

Shere Khan.

Lupita Nyong’o is phenomenal as Mowgli’s wolf mother Raksha, while Giancarlo Esposito made me forget his icy portrayal of drug kingpin Gus Fring on TV’s BREAKING BAD and provides a dignified voice for Mowgli’s wolf father Akela.  Scarlett Johansson is spot-on as the menacing and mesmerizing snake Kaa, and Christopher Walken, in what is probably my favorite performance in the movie, makes King Louie a scene-stealing simian who seems like he walked off the set of the recent PLANET OF THE APES reboots with Andy Serkis.  Walken’s Louie is much more monstrous than the Louie from the animated version.

Emjay Anthony, who played Jon Favreau’s son in Favreau’s CHEF (2014),  and who I also enjoyed in the surprisingly good horror movie KRAMPUS (2015), is very effective as one of Mowgli’s wolf cub brothers.  And Garry Shandling, who passed away last month, provides the voice for Ikki the porcupine.

Of course, Bill Murray probably has the biggest shoes to fill, playing the most iconic character from the animated movie, Baloo the Bear, voiced with impeccable perfection by country singer Phil Harris back in 1967.  While Murray certainly didn’t make me forget Harris, he more than holds his own and all in all does a decent job with the character. It helps that Baloo seems to be a natural fit for Murray.  He even gets to sing “The Bare Necessities.”

baloo

Baloo the Bear

This being a more serious rendition of the story, most of the memorable songs from the animated version by Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman do not make it into this film, but a few do.

As I said, Bill Murray’s Baloo does perform “The Bare Necessities,” and some of the other familiar themes do make it into the film as background music, as in the Kaa the snake sequence.  Christopher Walken’s rendition of “I Wanna Be Like You” is the only song that is somewhat awkward.  Walken’s King Louie is just a bit too frightening to accept his breaking into song, and yet there is just something creepy enough about his Kong-like character singing that makes the scene work.

The CGI animation here is top-notch.  The animals all look amazing, especially Shere Khan, who is absolutely frightening.  While the film is available in 3D, I saw it in 2D and it looked just fine.

Jon Favreau does a terrific job here all around, from creating exciting suspenseful scenes to the superb CGI animation.  He also crafts some poignant moments as well, like the tender scenes between Mowgli and Raksha, and the sequence involving Mowgli and the elephants.

Rounding out this solid production is the screenplay by Justin Marks.  It keeps things serious throughout without sacrificing the “family” feel of the tale. So many of today’s CGI animated children’s movies are steeped in adult humor, and while this can be a lot of fun, the adventurous tone in THE JUNGLE BOOK is satisfying and refreshing.

If you’re in the mood for a rousing adventure, a film fit for the entire family, then look no further than Jon Favreau’s exceptional remake of THE JUNGLE BOOK.

The bare necessities of life will come to you
They’ll come to you!

—END—

 

 

 

 

JERSEY BOYS (2014) Walk LIke Men

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Jersey-Boys-poster-1Movie Review: JERSEY BOYS (2014)
By
Michael Arruda

I didn’t see the stage musical JERSEY BOYS.

I’m not the biggest fan of musicals or even of Frankie Valli, for that matter, as he was a bit before my time, but I am a fan of Clint Eastwood and the myriad of quality movies he consistently makes, both behind and in front of the camera, so perhaps this might explain my feelings towards today’s movie, JERSEY BOYS, Eastwood’s film adaptation of the award winning musical. It’s getting mediocre reviews, but I enjoyed it from start to finish, so much so that in this year of mediocre movies, JERSEY BOYS just might be the best movie I’ve seen so far this year.

JERSEY BOYS tells the story of singer Frankie Valli (John Lloyd Young, reprising his role from the musical), as he rises from the depths of crime ridden New Jersey streets in the 1950s and sings his way to stardom. As a teenager, Valli joins a band run by his friend Tommy DeVito (Vincent Piazza), who in his spare time does small jobs for the local mobster Gyp DeCarlo (Christopher Walken). Gyp loves Frankie’s voice and encourages him to make it big.

Once Bobby Gaudio (Erich Bergen), a promising young musician and songwriter, joins their group, which also includes their friend Nick (Michael Lomenda), they settle upon a name, The Four Seasons, and then they work to get playing gigs and their songs played on the radio. They persevere through early failure before they put together three number one hits in a row, “Sherry,” “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” and “Walk Like A Man.”

But the road to fame never comes easy for them. Tommy’s selfish behavior consistently gets in the way of the band’s success, and he owes large sums of money to the mob. Early on, Frankie falls in love with and marries the charismatic Mary (Renee Marino), and they start a family together, but Frankie’s road schedule of constant gigs takes its toll on Mary and she starts drinking, eventually forcing Frankie out of the family picture.

And just when they seem to be hitting their stride with an appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, things come crashing down on them.

The thing I liked best about JERSEY BOYS was it told a good story. The screenplay by Marshall Brickman and Rick Elice, both of whom also wrote the musical, hits a homerun, and this comes as no surprise, knowing Brickman’s prior writing credits. Brickman’s a seasoned writer who years ago co-wrote the Woody Allen classics SLEEPER (1973), ANNIE HALL (1977), and MANHATTAN (1979).

Some have complained that the story of The Four Seasons as told in this movie is cliché ridden. I disagree. Just because there have been other stories of bands that went from rags to riches doesn’t meant that this particular story can’t be done well.

Of course, this story wouldn’t be a success if you didn’t like the main character, Frankie Valli.
From his rough beginnings in a Mafia neighborhood, Frankie comes across from the outset as a stand-up guy, even as a young sixteen year-old. He carries this persona with him throughout the story. Years later, when he should kick his friend Tommy into the street, he stands by his friend and agrees to have the band settle Tommy’s debt to the Mafia. This act of loyalty demonstrates what Valli is all about and shows why he’s determined throughout to be a success. It’s not for fame, glory, or money. It’s about living one’s life in a way that is respectful to one’s self and one’s friends. JERSEY BOYS paints a likable picture of Frankie Valli. He comes across as a decent human being trying to do the right thing, even when those around him don’t do the same.

The performances in JERSEY BOYS are all first-rate, and director Eastwood deserves a lot of credit for getting so much out of his largely fresh and new ensemble of actors. The players here all act like old pros, when in reality most of these folks are rather new to the film world.

John Lloyd Young, reprising the role of Frankie Valli from the stage musical for which he won the Tony Award for Best Actor in a Musical, is as you would expect excellent in the role. Young makes Valli a solid likeable character throughout, and he should be applauded for running the full gamut of ages here, as he plays Valli as a teen, in his twenties, thirties, and even older. It’s a terrific performance.

Erich Bergen is just as good as Bobby Gaudio. There’s something very youthful and energetic in his performance, as he captures more than any of the other three members in the band what it’s like to be in a struggling and then successful band. He’s also the member with a head on his shoulders, and he helps steer Frankie in the right direction when things get murky.

Tommy Devito is the exact opposite, as he’s the band member who is constantly putting the band at risk. As Tommy, Vincent Piazza is superb. He makes Tommy a multi-dimensional character, one you never really hate. Sure, his selfishness and mob connections do the band no favors, but early on he’s the one who gets the band started and pushes it along.

Michael Lomenda is also very good as Nick Massi, the self-described “Ringo” of the group. Nick constantly feels overwhelmed by the group’s struggles and successes, and of the four, he’s the least dynamic. Lomenda does a nice job in this low-key role.

Renee Marino is excellent in her film debut as Frankie’s wife Mary. She’s absolutely electrifying in her first couple of scenes. Unfortunately, she’s not in the film much as it goes along, and in her remaining scenes she’s pretty much reduced to a nagging wife with a drinking problem.

And Mike Doyle as the group’s producer Bob Crewe enjoys some scene stealing moments in a neat supporting role. He has some of the film’s best lines, including a few laugh out loud moments.

Christopher Walken does the “Christopher Walken” thing as mobster Gyp DeCarlo. Walken brings an instant feel of menace and respect to the role, even though not once in the movie do we ever see DeCarlo engage in anything criminal. Walken makes full use of his presence here.

There has been only a handful of Clint Eastwood films that I haven’t been nuts about— in recent years J. EDGAR (2011) and HEREAFTER (2010) come to mind— which is remarkable considering the number of movies he has starred in and directed. The thing that I like most about Eastwood’s work is he has a way of making movies that cut through the muck and get to the simple issue of likeability. Watching a Clint Eastwood movie is like sitting with a favorite uncle who’s a gifted storyteller. He knows what he’s doing, and you know what you’re in for, a quality story that doesn’t disappoint.

In JERSEY BOYS, Eastwood effortlessly utilizes the gimmick— as they did in the play— of having the characters speak directly into the camera, and he uses this to full effect. He also uses some flashback and moves back and forth in time seamlessly here.

JERSEY BOYS is impeccably made, from the sets and costumes to the musical numbers. No, JERSEY BOYS is not a traditional musical in terms of song and dance numbers. It’s a bio pic, about Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. But it does contain some tremendous music, as the Four Season’s canon of songs is a good one.

All in all, JERSEY BOYS tells a solid story, is flawlessly filmed, and features strong acting performances from everyone involved. It also features classic music from The Four Seasons.

This summer at the movies, you’ll be hard pressed to find a more satisfying movie experience.

And that’s because it’s more than just a story about a band. It’s about friendship, family, loyalty, and fighting for what you want even when those around you fight against you. Christopher Walken’s Gyp utters a telling line in this one, “Do the work and everything follows.” Hard work pays off. That’s usually the case. And the harder one works the harder it gets, but you keep going anyway.

Big Girls Don’t Cry. Neither do JERSEY BOYS.

—END—

 

 

 

 

PACINO and WALKEN Buddy Up in STAND UP GUYS (2012)

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stand_up_guys posterBlu-Ray Review:  STAND UP GUYS (2012)

By

Michael Arruda


Take Al Pacino, pair him with Christopher Walken, and then throw in Alan Arkin, and what do you have?  A group of stand up guys!

 

STAND UP GUYS (2012) is a comedy-drama that had a very limited release when it came out last year.  Although I had seen trailers for it at my local theater, it never opened in my neck of the woods, which is too bad because I really enjoyed STAND UP GUYS, having finally caught up with it on Blu-Ray the other day.

 

STAND UP GUYS opens with a convict named Val (Al Pacino) released from prison after serving a sentence of 28 years.  Val is met at the door by his best friend Doc (Christopher Walken), and what makes this more than just a best buddy reunion, is that Doc has received orders from crime boss Claphands (Mark Margolis) to kill Val.  You see, Claphands blames Val for the death of his son, and being the vindictive bastard that he is, he allows Val to serve out his 28 years in prison, and then on the day he’s released, orders his best friend to kill him.  Doc doesn’t want to kill Val, but Claphands makes it clear that if Doc doesn’t do the job, he’ll end up dead, too.

 

Doc asks for more time, and Claphands gives him until 10:00 the next morning to kill Val.  And this sets up the plot for the rest of the movie, as Val and Doc enjoy a night on the town together, reminiscing about old times and getting into mischief together once again. 

 

Their overnight antics include a comic run-in with Viagra, a visit to the local brothel, and funniest of all a reunion with their former driver Hirsch (Alan Arkin), who’s ill and dying.  For old time’s sake they steal a car and Hirsch drives them around town, outracing the police at one point.  They also visit family to make amends, and help a woman Sylvia (Vanessa Ferlito) they find naked in the trunk of their stolen car get back at the men who raped her.

 

What makes things more interesting is that Val knows Doc has orders to kill him, and Doc knows he knows, yet both men choose to spend the evening together.  As zero hour draws near, the tensions rise as Doc has to make his decision regarding what he’s going to do about Val.

 

The best part about STAND UP GUYS is the interplay between Al Pacino and Christopher Walken as Val and Doc.  I could watch these guys all night, and as I watched this movie, I almost wished it was a television show so I could see these guys again.  They really are stand up guys.

 

The screenplay by Noah Haidle includes hilariously raw dialogue that had me laughing out loud.  The scenes in the brothel with Wendy (Lucy Punch) are priceless.  And when Val and Doc break into a pharmacy for the Viagra that Val needs, they end up spending a longer time there because Doc decides to stock up on his prescription meds.  “How much stuff are you on?”  Val wants to know.

 

The comedy works not only because the dialogue is funny, but because these guys genuinely care for one another.  STAND UP GUYS is a great friendship movie. 

 

There are also some nice poignant moments, like when Val asks a woman to dance with him at a club.  When he explains to her that all he wants to do is dance, without any monkey business, and if she dances with him, she’ll never have to see him again, it’s such a moving sincere moment.  Pacino nails the emotions of a man who’d been in prison for nearly three decades, here having his first opportunity to hold a woman close again.

 

Some of the other serious scenes don’t work as well.  The scenes where they seek out Hirsch’s daughter Nina (Julianna Marguiles) fall rather flat and seem rushed.  The scenes with the young waitress Alex (Addison Timlin) who Doc visits regularly work better, but I figured out the revelation about this relationship beforehand.

 

Directed by actor Fisher Stevens, STAND UP GUYS is a tour de force for Pacino, Walken, and Arkin, and as such, Stevens wisely remains in the background and allows these powerhouse actors to strut their stuff.

 

As you would imagine, the performances here are topnotch, and Pacino and Walken share a genuine chemistry together.  I truly believed they were lifelong friends.  Throw Alan Arkin into the mix, and you’ve got a clinic on both comic and dramatic acting.

 

The supporting players are also very good.  Lucy Punch is hilarious as Wendy, the woman who runs the brothel, and Addison Timlin is like a bright ray of sunshine as Alex, the young waitress who Doc visits regularly.  Vanessa Ferlito makes her mark as Sylvia, the woman who gets to avenge the men who raped her, and only Julianna Marguiles doesn’t fare as well as Hirsch’s daughter Nina, mostly because it’s not the most memorable part.

 

Mark Margolis makes for an effective heavy as crime boss Claphands, even though it’s an underdeveloped character.  Margolis spends his brief screen time screaming threats and looking angry, as opposed to actually doing things.  Of course, Margolis does anger well, and if you’ve seen the TV show BREAKING BAD you know what I mean.

 

I wasn’t crazy about the ending.  While I understood and completely bought into Doc’s decision at the end, what happens afterwards was somewhat of a letdown.

 

That being said, the weak ending in no way takes away from all that came before it, and as a result, I still found myself enjoying STAND UP GUYS a lot.

 

It’s all about friendship, and looking back at one’s life from one’s twilight years and having some buddies there looking back with you, helping you make sense of it all, the kinds of friends you can count on.  In short, stand up guys.

—END—